Joffe’s World Cup Challenge, Day 22: Conspiracy Is Alive, Da?

Viva la France! J’adore Griezmann aussi.

See, I knew my three years in high school and four semesters in college of French would come in handy one day.

I would have won BOTH of my France bets had the Uruguayan goalie batted the ball properly, but I’ll take 1-0-1, as it meant I didn’t have to be overly nervous for the most part of the game.

Shoutout to Belgium for also allowing my butt cheeks to have a rest for most of the game. But that last 15 minutes was ROUGH.

Brazil actually looked better at the beginning of the game and had a lot of close calls, including a no-call on a potential penalty-kick opportunity that never went to VAR.

Sorry, not sorry.

I’ve been on the wrong end of terrible referee decisions more times than I care to think about, so I’ll sleep just fine tonight. The game ended 2-1 and my bets went 2-0.

Current balance: $472.56

Sweden vs. England

10 a.m. ET, FOX

I won’t lie … I’m going with my heart here. I just want to root for all the English in me.

England is favored, but as I was made aware of many times, they have a knack for choking. I can TOTALLY see it happening tomorrow and ruining my weekend.

World Cup Saturday: England, Croatia Draw Heavy Action in Quarterfinals

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For now, I’ve gone with them to advance, but it’s so juiced up that I had to add something else so I didn’t feel like a huge chalk duster — I just made that phrase up … I think.

So I added a totals bet. I may add some other crazy thing in the morning depending on how hungover/brave I feel.

The pick: $40 to win $18.18 on England to advance (-220)

The pick: $10 to win $9.09 on over 2 (-110)

Russia vs. Croatia

2 p.m. ET, FOX

We’re gettin’ down to the end here, and despite thinking I wouldn't care one bit about soccer, I’m seriously going to miss watching these games — and betting them — when they're over.

Never thought I’d say that, but damn it, here we are.

For this game, I’ve decided that I’m going to feel dirty. Really dirty. I’m riding the Russian conspiracy one more round. Croatia wasn’t overly impressive last game. I mean, Russia wasn’t either, but I expected Croatia to be way more dominant.

Regardless, I’m rolling with the conspiracy theory here and taking Russia. I threw in an under bet, and as I typed this the odds moved from -115 to -110, so that doesn’t seem to bode well for the bet.

The pick: $30 to win $48.00 on Russia to advance (+160)

The pick: $20 to win $18.18 on under 2 (-110)