Joffe’s World Cup Challenge, Day 11: Blame My Hairdresser for Everything

Joffe’s World Cup Challenge, Day 11: Blame My Hairdresser for Everything article feature image

Tim Groothuis/Witters Sport via USA TODAY Sports. Pictured: Poland forward Robert Lewandowski and Senegal defender Kalidou Koulibaly

The Highlights

  • I forgot to tweet my picks for Saturday’s games. I blame my Arizona State-grad hairdresser. (Bear Down.)
  • I’m going all-in on my heritage with Sunday’s bets on England and Poland.
  • Senegal have the most polite fans on the planet, which is a good enough reason to wager on them vs. Japan.

Well, upping my bet amounts did not bring me any amazing luck Friday, but all was not terrible. I got my hair done, and Switzerland won.

Side note: It was a new girl who did my hair, and midway through, I found out she graduated from Arizona State, and she found out I graduated from Arizona. There was a very awkward pause, but before I could say anything she said, “Uh … just remember I’m the one with the scissors up here.” So congratulations to me for not getting stabbed before Saturday’s big slate of games.

(Full disclosure, I forgot to tweet my picks on Saturday, because, well, I’m an idiot. I blame the hair dye for soaking into my head and the ASU hairdresser for making me fear for my life. You’re just gonna have to trust me on these …)


My Belgium -1, -1.5 (-115) bet proved to be an easy winner.

Next was South Korea vs. Landon Donovan — I mean Mexico. I really thought Korea had a chance to get a draw. I just wasn’t sure whether Mexico’s win over Germany was a fluke or legit. Turns out it was legit, but I bet South Korea +.5, +1 (-107), so Mexico winning by a goal at least got me half a push. (Look at ya girl figuring out this soccer betting lingo.)

And then, Germany. Ohhhh Germany. They actually seemed to play better a man down. My Germany -1 (-114) bet pushed thanks to this incredible goal. I actually feel bad for the Swedes … and everyone who bet the draw (+373).

Current balance: $468.36

England vs. Panama

8 a.m. ET, FS1

This game has me a little nervous for my English ancestors. If my calculations are correct, Panama will be eliminated from advancing with a loss here. But they could force England into a must-win situation against the dominant Belgium side in their next game if they win.


I’ll be going all-in on my heritage Sunday, betting England and Poland, because normal soccer analysis doesn’t seem to be workin’ at the moment. I plan on finding out if this betting theory holds any water. (Spoiler: I suspect it doesn’t, but hey, YOU NEVER KNOW.)

The pick: $15 to win $10.71 on England -1.5 (-140)


Japan vs. Senegal

11 a.m. ET, FOX

I’ve got no read on this game. Japan beat Colombia in their first game, but they played with a man advantage for almost the entire game. Senegal played well in their win over Poland, but I can’t stop thinking about the goal that snuck in thanks to the ref.

I’m not completely down with Senegal quite yet, but I’ll wager on them because they have the most thoughtful fans on the planet.

The pick: $15 to win $13.39 on Senegal PK, -.5 (-112)

Poland vs. Colombia

2 p.m. ET, FOX

Rinse and repeat. Wacky first games leave me clueless on what to do here. So I’m riding with the “root for the ancestors” thing. Here’s to hoping Poland can at least can get a draw.

The pick: $15 to win $13.51 on Poland PK, +.5 (-111)

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