Joffe’s ‘Dead To Me,’ Week 2: Never Bet on Your Own Team

Credit:

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports. Pictured:
Sep 8, 2018; Houston, TX, USA; Arizona Wildcats head coach Kevin Sumlin looks on from the sideline during the third quarter against the Houston Cougars at TDECU Stadium.

Sep 11, 2018, 10:00 PM EDT
  • Lauren Joffe bet on her beloved Arizona Wildcats this week, and it ... didn't quite work out.
  • So sadly, Kevin Sumlin's squad is dead to her for the rest of 2018.

I’m not sure I’m going to make it through this college football season alive.

I mean, I know I’m being dramatic, but this season could not have started out worse for me.

Despite being 15-point favorites in their first game of the season, my beloved Arizona Wildcats lost by five to BYU. And the only thing that was getting me through the week was the idea that the biggest adjustments come between the first and second game.

Well…not so much.

When I got in the TSA line at Midway on Saturday morning, our game against Houston started. By the time I made it to the bar (obvi), we were already down 14-0.

Things only got worse, and for the first time in the history of my world, I was OVERJOYED to not have WiFi on my flight.

By the time I’d landed, the damage was done, and the Cats lost 45-18. To make matters worse, I bet on Arizona DESPITE my rule of never betting on my team. So in addition to that loss, I had my own loss.

The ONLY saving grace was that we at The Action Network have a bracket contest going and wouldn’t you know it, but good ole BlackJack Fletcher took my Cats.

So technically their loss (without getting even remotely close to covering +3) helped me. I GUESS there was a bright side, but all in all, coupled with Arizona State beating Michigan State, it was not a good sports weekend.

It didn’t stop there. Not ONE of my Week 2 big dogs hit (yes, I’ll still be doing this next weekend because I am a masochist).

The team that almost made the cut as dead to me this week was Samford, which led Florida State all game as a 31-point underdog. Until there were four minutes left in the fourth quarter.

After FSU went up by three points, Samford was marching down the field to take the lead and its quarterback threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown and the Seminoles squeaked out a win. And my ONE dog that had it IN THE BAG lost in miserable fashion.

I’ve decided not to add Samford to the list, however, because its quarterback, Devlin Hodges, is really good, and I may end up betting Samford again even though it will definitely not be as a 45-1 underdog.

Damn, the more I think about it, the more depressed I get…maybe I should put the Noles on the list instead.

So the question is: who is dead to me this week?

Well, in terms of betting and ONLY betting … that would be my very own Arizona Wildcats. To be honest, they never should have been a team I bet on, but I did it and I paid the price.

No matter how tempting a line might look for the rest of the season, I can’t take it, because my beloved boys are dead to me.

Seriously, it hurts me to say this, but I can handle only so much misery, and there really is nothing worse than your favorite team losing a game AND you losing money on said game because you were blinded by love.

Ask any seasoned bettor, and they’ll tell you that is a top 5 no-no. The worst part is I knew it and did it anyway so perhaps THIS time I’ll learn my lesson.

(Narrator: She won’t.)

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