A Serious Betting Breakdown of the Puppy Bowl

When someone asks you if you're betting on the dog on Sunday, the correct answer is: which one? Team Ruff or Team Fluff?

That's because you're not a follower, you're a trend-setter. Just because everyone else is betting on the Super Bowl doesn't mean you have to. There's another bowl on Sunday that has just as much gambling implications…the Puppy Bowl. Puppy Bowl XIV, to be precise.

Animal Planet is back with plenty of pooches for their annual football showdown this Sunday at 3 p.m. ET. Whilst pregaming with your buddies, they may inquire as to why you have the Puppy Bowl on TV rather than Super Bowl pregame shows. Those people aren't your friends. Go right ahead and excoriate them because if you want to bet on the Puppy Bowl, by God you certainly have the right to watch it.

Betting on the Puppy Bowl is an American pastime akin to baseball on a midsummer's night, hot dog eating contests on Coney Island, or apple pie, which is definitely just for eating.

The Odds

February 4th Update

There's Been a Leak! Spoiler Alert!

Dear lord! Over the past few days, Team Fluff has gone from -115 to -975….talk about sharp action. The other two books offering odds have taken the game off the board altogether, leading me to believe that there has most definitely been a leak.  Those shifty Animal Planet workers are always tipping off sharp bettors. Can trust 'em about as far as I can throw 'em. Team Ruff bettors, I'll pour one out for you tonight.

Original post from February 1st

Last season, Team Fluff won in a 93-38 bloodbath. However, some books were not just carrying moneyline odds, but actual spreads.

Based on the sharp as hell line movement, I can only imagine that like many of the participants, the game was fixed (dog joke.)

There were even prop bets and MVP odds for the game…MVP odds that were in alphabetical order. Rory ended up taking home the hardware at +3300.

Alas, this year is different. Sportsbooks are not handling the Puppy Bowl the same way as they did last year and one would assume that it's because the Animal Planet folk fixed the game for financial benefit. Now we have no spreads, no MVPs, no props…just boring moneyline odds.

At one sportsbook, after opening at -120 on each side, they moved Team Fluff to a -140 favorite on November 11th. Just a short while back on January 22nd, there was some buyback on Team Ruff at +100 to move the odds back to where they opened.

Riveting stuff, eh?

My advice: take Team Fluff at -115. These sons of bitches (dog joke) certainly don't lack in the pedigree department (dog joke) and will be looking to build upon their big victory last year.

Mark Gallant's views are in no way a representation of those of The Action Network. What you just read should be viewed as satire or, perhaps, just downright stupid. Any money lost betting on the Puppy Bowl is a direct responsibility of the reader. May God have mercy on your soul.