Joffe: The Longshot Winners I Love and the QB Who’s Dead To Me

Sep 25, 2018 7:21 AM EDT
  • Thanks to Old Dominion (28-1) and Morgan State (47-1), Joffe cashed two of her big dog bets this weekend.
  • She's now 3-131-1 on the year, but the future looks bright.
  • NFL-wise, Carson Wentz's Sunday performance has officially landed him on Lauren's "Dead To Me" list.

Two Big Dogs Eat

I love dogs. Every shape, size and texture. Especially the kind that pay out at 47-1. Last weekend was the weekend for dogs in college football and the NFL, and while the NFL dogs may or may not have knocked out one of my survivor picks (you suck, Jacksonville), it also knocked out a million others (thank you, Vikes and Pats).

Now I guess I’ll clench my butt and hope my last entry can make it through the rest of the season.

This weekend was pretty good for for me college football-wise. It was incredibly rough for some others thanks to Penn State/Illinois, Stanford/Oregon and Wisconsin/Iowa. The only one that affected me was that first game and woooo boy… was it a doozy.

Never mind that I had the Illini as a big dog (30-1) and they actually had a shot at winning (I, and many others had them covering the +28), but they weren’t just covering in the third quarter, THEY WERE WINNING.

WINNING! And then the fourth quarter happened, and not only did the blow their lead, they had FIVE unanswered touchdowns scored on them.

So, yeah, they blew the cover and then some. I’d put them on the DTM (Dead To Me) list, but honestly it was such an epic collapse it became comical, so they’re getting a pass this week.

Let’s move on to the big dogs who did cash:

Thank you, ODU (28-1). Thank you, Morgan State (47-1). Army ALMOST earned a big thank you after taking Oklahoma to overtime, but in the end it only earned a pat on the back and a participation trophy.

Oh, and if I could just take a minute to complain that this was the most impossible game to actually watch because it was a pay-per-view. No really … Oklahoma vs. Army was a PPV game. Shout-out to the one guy who was live-streaming on his Twitch account and created a stream that everyone and their mother ended up watching (you the real MVP).

And please, powers that be, don’t ever do that PPV thing again. $55 to watch what should’ve been a blowout game? As the Hoover salesman told the potential customer giving his product a test run, “Suck it.”

Even with ODU and Morgan State, I’m 3-131-1 this season, and none of the winners were the REALLY REALLY big dogs like Clark University, Atlanta, which was 1,000-1 to win this weekend. So, no, I’m not writing this from a hut in Bora Bora, but the dogs are starting to become hungry …

Dead To Me: Late Night With Carson Fail-me

Congrats, Carson Wentz of the Philadelphia Eagles. You are officially Dead To Me.

Carson comes back into the starting lineup, replaces my fellow Wildcat Nick Foles and MURDERS my four-team parlay.

We’re done, Carson. DONE.

I’m tempted to make the whole Eagles team DTM, but cooler heads prevailed. That being said, they’re definitely on notice …

Follow Lauren Joffe on Twitter
@thespinzone

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