If you’ve learned anything about me at this point, you know there’s no way I’m NOT putting action down on the most important event of the year. That’s right: I saved my prop locks of the year for … the Super Bowl halftime show! Take it away, JT …
Will Al Michaels make a halftime show appearance?
Yes +1000, No -2000
With the exception of the Super Bowl itself, I do my best to avoid watching commercials and promos, but I have seen NBC pushing one with Justin Timberlake saying his goal is to make Al Michaels dance.
The heavy -2000 odds make me a bit nervous, but I can’t imagine a world in which Al would want to disappoint JT and let all that NBC promo time go to waste. I’m not saying I WANT to see it, I’m just saying there is no way they built it up this much only to have it go nowhere. So prepare yourself to see Al Michaels shake his booty. And yes, I cringed a little writing that.
Will Justin Timberlake cover a Prince song during the halftime show?
Yes -150, No +110
Minnesota folks have had a rough couple of weeks. Their beloved Vikings came within one game of becoming the first team to play a home Super Bowl and now they have host to Philly fans, who have been, and are continuing to be, relentlessly miserable (according to them). So much so that local Minneapolis restaurants are denying reservations to Eagles players.
I’ve called 3 Restaurants in Minneapolis to get a reservation for me and my teammates and “can’t” get in 🤔🤔🤔 Well played Minnesota fans, well played 👏🏼👏🏼 #FlyEaglesFly
— Chris Maragos (@ChrisMaragos) January 27, 2018
Minnesota’s biggest claims to fame are, in no particular order, ice fishing, Prince, the Mall of America, Prince, freezing weather, Prince, having a crap-ton of lakes, and, oh, Prince. So it’s pretty much a lock that JT will throw all Minnesotans a bone by honoring their hometown hero. It’s the least he can do.
Which other artists will make a halftime show appearance?
Madonna: No -650, Yes +425
Janet Jackson: No -650, Yes +425
Britney Spears: No -500, Yes +300
Jay-Z: No -500, Yes +300
Any NSYNC member: No -180, Yes +150
First off, I don’t think Jay-Z and Madonna are showing up. Jay-Z didn’t even perform at the Grammys, and I have no idea where Madonna has been. As for Janet Jackson, while I think it would be hilarious if she came back for a redemption of “nipplegate,” I’m just not sure I see Janet, a new mother, having a desire to dredge up old wounds. Which brings me to Brit Brit. Not only is she JT’s ex-girlfriend, but she recently announced a summer tour and has been killing the selfie game on Twitter
I love cardio and sweating, but over doing anything just isn’t good. It’s been nice working out a little less these last few weeks and enjoying my time off with my children!!!! pic.twitter.com/dTUVEMvUUY
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) January 29, 2018
I don’t know how friendly Justin and Britney still are, but Twitter might break if she appears with him while he sings “Cry Me a River” (which was said to be inspired by their breakup). Finally, what about a member of NSYNC? To be completely honest, the only reason I’m even considering this is because of its relatively short odds. Somebody always seems to know something with these props. But I’m sticking with my gut and backing Britney. Hopefully the Internet can handle the ?.
Will there be a wardrobe malfunction?
Yes +1500, No -4000
Do I think we will see a nip slip a la Janet Jackson? Probably not. But there better be a tease of some sort. You think JT waited all this time to get back onto the Super Bowl stage only to play it safe? Please! Hell, I may actually parlay a wardrobe malfunction with an Al Michaels halftime appearance. Pays 175-1. I’m gonna be rich … and a little sick … but mostly rich.
Odds a fan throws _____ on the field
Beer cup: 3-1
Article of clothing: 4-1
Uneaten food: 5-1
Seat cushion: 14-1
Deflated football: 40-1
Sex toy: 50-1 (Book TBD)
I’ve seen this prop bandied about on social media, but I haven’t tracked it down at an actual book … yet. (If there are any oddsmakers in the house, you know where to find me.) Whenever I get my hands on this prop you better believe I’m betting sex toy at 50-1 and you should follow suit, too. Here’s the thing: Anything can be a sex toy. I mean, have you watched videos on the Internet before? Beer cup? Please. Clothing? I think belts are pretty common, SO I’VE HEARD. Food? I’m pretty sure it has its own category on some websites. Cushion? That’s tame. “Deflated” football? Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Trust me: Take the 50-1 and ask questions later. And if your book wants to argue this, give them my info and I’ll do it for you.
Winner of 14th Puppy Bowl
Team Fluff -115, Team Ruff -115
I’m taking Team Fluff here. I have no idea why, but it’s the Super Bowl and I must degen out and bet on the dogs. It’s the right thing to do. Truth be told, I don’t care if I win because either way all the pups will get adopted, and really, that’s the most important thing. Well, that and my Fletcher Cox (+4000) or Stephen Gostkowski (+5000) Super Bowl MVP bets.